At 6:12 AM yesterday, my older son came to my bed and asked, “mommy, do we have any cough drops? My throat really hurts.” Fast forward to 9:15 AM, watching his brother play soccer and waiting for his own game two hours later. When he said he didn’t think he could play, I realized he was definitely unwell; this kid never misses a chance to get on the field.

We always seem to know, as parents, right? When our kids look the tiniest bit flushed, move a little slower in the morning, not finishing a favorite food. Our parental alarm bell starts a low frequency hum – something is off. So, when they start coughing, spike a fever, or heaven forbid 3 AM vomiting, it’s not really a surprise.

When my patient is a sick child, their parents’ reporting of their symptoms and behavior is every bit as important to me as what I see and examine in the clinic. I’m circling back to this but switching gears for a moment.
Conventional medical training in the states roughly works like this (with some individual variation):
- Undergraduate training (usually a four-year college degree)
- Medical school (usually four years)
- Graduate medical training (this is residency, where you are paid to work and train in the specialty of your choice and can be 3-7 years depending on what you’re doing)
- Fellowship (optional, if you choose to further specialize)
I took one year off during medical school when I had my first son and another three years off between medical school and residency when I had my second son. My path was somewhat unconventional. When I started residency, none of my co-residents had children. I was in a discussion with a fellow resident; he was scoffing about parental reporting of fever and how inaccurate it is. I tried to control my twitches of annoyance. He was telling me about a study he read that proved that moms are only right about 50% of the time when they judge whether their child has a fever using their hand. Who spent their time studying this? If mom says their child is sick and felt warm, that’s good enough for me. It makes me itchy taking advice about kids from people who don’t have any. I know how that sounds. And I have colleagues without children who would feel their medical degree is being disrespected by that sentiment, but it’s how I feel. I have two kids, and I don’t consider myself an expert on all kids. I just know, deeply, to listen to a parent when it comes to making judgement and recommendations for their children.
If mom says their child is sick and felt warm, that’s good enough for me. It makes me itchy taking advice about kids from people who don’t have any. I know how that sounds. And I have colleagues without children who would feel their medical degree is being disrespected by that sentiment, but it’s how I feel.
As a doctor, I do appreciate the value of using a fever in my assessment, but it’s just one of many symptoms. Also, I feel there has been a lot of fear perpetuated about fever that we need to overcome. You don’t need to medicate a fever just for the sake of itself. It is only a symptom, just our body’s way of telling us something is wrong and an attempt to make our body less hospitable to viruses and bacteria. Read more about that in the links below:
Sometimes, during our visit, I talk to parents about what I would recommend as a doctor and what I would do as a mom. It’s usually the same thing but I feel it helps to know I’ve been there, too. When things change, we talk again. When it’s late and your little one gets worse, we talk again. It’s scary, but let’s work together.
I hope, as a parent, you trust your intuition about your children’s health. I hope you have a doctor who listens to your concerns and knows that YOU are the expert on your child(ren).
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